Decision to Love
What My Marriage Taught Me About What It Truly Means to Love
A book. A journey. A decision.
I started writing this book more than ten years ago. I hoped that by sharing my story, it would help my husband see a different perspective on how I was trying to show him love. Instead, this book helped me to see his perspective and how he was trying to show me love. Our very different perspectives have helped me gain a broader understanding of what love truly is and why our marriage was so hard. My hope in sharing our story with you is that you can learn from my experiences, recognize your own way of loving, and by seeing new perspectives, discover ways you can always make the decision to love.
🎵 A Song For Your Journey: This Story Is For You
Step Into The Journey...
When I began writing this book, I had no idea what I was stepping into.
I thought I understood love, but there was so much more to understand.
I began to see love in ways I had never had before. I began to see my marriage, myself, and God in ways that made sense and helped me to move forward.
It's been a journey—one I want to invite you on as well. I'm excited to see what you might discover along the way.
Love looks very different to each person, and though some of these perspectives may not seem like love to you, when you finally begin to see where they might be coming from, a new view of love begins to form, and you begin to create a new picture of what love really is—the love that God has for each of us.
It's why I'm not just sharing my book, but I've made Decision to Love into a journey.
As you move through each chapter, there will be opportunities to listen, read, reflect, try new things, and learn how to see things from all kinds of different perspectives.
Some may seem familiar.
Some may make you feel uncomfortable.
Some may cause you to rethink things you've believed for years.
I hope this journey helps you to love yourself more, see how God loves you, and see yourself and God in ways that help you take a small step toward greater understanding, connection, peace, and love.
There is no right way to take the journey.
You can move quickly or take your time. You can do every activity or simply listen to the story.
It's your journey.
(A preview)
How Will You Take The Journey?
While I had to take on the journey on my own, you can choose how you want to experience it
🌿 On Your Own
Listen or read at your own pace. Stop when something makes you think. Reflect on your own experiences and discover what love might look like in your life.
❤️ With Someone You Love
Walk the trail together with a spouse, partner, family member, or friend. Listen to a chapter, talk about what stood out, and discover more about how you each see the world.
💬 Take It With a Group
Use the reflection questions and journey experiences to start meaningful conversations with friends, a small group, a book club, or others who want to explore what it really means to love.
There is no right way to take the journey.
You can move quickly or take your time. You can do the activities along the way or simply listen to the story.
It's your journey.
What You'll Find Along the Trail
📖 The Book
Listen to or read Decision to Love: What My Marriage Taught Me About What It Truly Means to Love
My story includes the beautiful, painful, confusing, funny, difficult, and deeply personal experiences that shaped what I've come to understand about love.
🎵 Inspirational Music
Original songs accompany the journey, giving you another way to experience the ideas and emotions behind each chapter.
💭 Things to Think About
Reflection questions invite you to pause and consider how the ideas connect with your life
👣 Small Steps
Journey experiences give you opportunities to actually try something—not just think about it.
💬 Conversations
Optional discussion opportunities let you explore the ideas with other people.
My goal isn't to tell you what you should believe about love
My goal is to help you see what you may not have noticed before.
It's to share what my own life
and to invite you to discover what you might learn along the way.
Walk With Me
Hi, I'm Lindy.
I'm not a relationship expert with all the answers, but I have learned a lot about different perspectives on love.
Some of these lessons came through joy. Others came through pain.
Most of them came from not getting things right. I've always wanted to love, and when my love wasn't landing in the ways I expected, I began to understand why.
What I've learned has changed me for the better.
This book is what I discovered.
And I'm excited for you to join me on the trail.
A Journey For Adults
Every person's journey through love, relationships, and personal growth is unique. The Decision to Love journey is designed to provide inspiration, reflection, and new perspectives—it is not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, medical advice, or other professional services.
As you walk this trail, you may encounter thoughts, memories, emotions, or experiences that are difficult or unexpected. Some parts of this journey may bring up painful feelings, past experiences, or personal challenges. This journey is not intended to diagnose, treat, or resolve mental health conditions or relationship situations. Please take responsibility for your own well-being and choose what is right for you at each step.
Decision to Love also contains mature themes and personal discussions related to marriage, intimacy, relationships, and life experiences. I've tried to tell these parts of my story honestly without making them unnecessarily uncomfortable, but the book is intended for an adult audience
You are always free to pause, skip a section, or stop the journey at any time. By choosing to participate in the Decision to Love journey, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own choices, actions, and personal experience along the way.
My hope is that this trail will provide opportunities for growth, healing, and a deeper understanding of love—but your journey belongs to you.
Read the Entire Book For Free
There is no cost to walk this trail or to read the book.
There's no pressure to finish it quickly, and there's no requirement to participate in every activity.
There's no right or wrong way to experience it.
Just start by reading the Introduction and listening to the music along the way. It all starts here.
Praise from Previous Versions of the book:
“This book will change the way you think about relationships.”
Decision to Love is a powerful exploration of the differences in how people naturally give and receive love. The book does an excellent job showing how even well-intentioned people can struggle in relationships when they don’t fully understand one another or communicate in ways that feel “foreign” to the other person. What I appreciated most is that the book doesn’t just talk about love in theory — it helps explain why people can genuinely love each other and still miss each other emotionally. It reinforces the idea that love is not only about intention, but also about understanding how the other person experiences connection, care, and validation. Decision to Love offers practical insight, greater empathy, and a healthier lens for navigating relationships. It’s a valuable read for anyone who wants to communicate better, love more intentionally, and understand the people closest to them on a deeper level.
Lindy Kerby’s Decision to Love is a thoughtful and heartfelt exploration of love, marriage, faith, and personal growth. Through honest storytelling and deeply personal experiences, Lindy invites readers to examine their own assumptions about love and consider how different perspectives can affect relationships. One of the book’s greatest strengths is its vulnerability. Kerby shares both joyful and painful moments from her marriage, allowing readers to walk beside her as she learns that love is often expressed and perceived in very different ways. Central to the book is her "BE/DO" concept, which explores how some people primarily experience love through actions while others experience it through presence, perspective, and way of being. This framework provides an insightful lens for understanding misunderstandings that can arise even between people who genuinely care for one another. The author’s storytelling is engaging and relatable. From a childhood memory involving her grandmother’s gentle response to a spilled glass of milk to the challenges of early marriage and parenthood, each chapter illustrates important lessons about compassion, expectations, communication, and faith. These personal stories help transform abstract principles into practical examples that readers can easily apply to their own lives. Faith plays a significant role throughout the book. Lindy openly shares her evolving relationship with God, her struggles to recognize answers to prayer, and the ways spiritual experiences shaped her understanding of love. Readers who appreciate inspirational and faith-centered memoirs will likely find these reflections particularly meaningful. Even those from different faith backgrounds may connect with the universal themes of hope, forgiveness, gratitude, and personal transformation. Perhaps the most valuable message of Decision to Love is that love is not merely a feeling but a choice. This book encourages readers to move beyond judgment, seek understanding, and recognize that people often express love differently than we expect. The message is both compassionate and practical, offering hope to anyone navigating relationships, marriage, family challenges, or personal growth. Overall, Decision to Love is an uplifting and thought-provoking read. Its combination of personal narrative, relationship insights, and spiritual reflection makes it a worthwhile book for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of what it truly means to love.
