🌿 What I Couldn't Yet See
Decision to Love - Trail Marker #2
We usually see love from our own perspective, believing that what we know and feel about love should be the same for another person. But our perspective is often limited. Learning to love requires us to become curious about perspectives beyond our own—to listen, understand, and sometimes be willing to see things we may not have seen before.
🎵 A Song For Your Journey: Part of His Plan
Chapter Two: What I Couldn't Yet See
Choose the way you’d like to experience this chapter:
📖 Read Chapter Two
🎧 Listen to Chapter Two
🌱 Journey Reflection
Take some time to reflect on what you discovered in this chapter. You might journal your thoughts, discuss them with someone you trust, or share your insights in the Decision to Love community.
Questions to Ponder:
1. What expectations did Lindy and Mat have about marriage and love that turned out to be different from reality? What expectations might you have about love or relationships that shape the way you respond to others?
2. Lindy and Mat both believed they were trying to love each other. What did each of them believe love looked like? What was each of them missing about the other’s way of experiencing love?
3. How did Lindy and Mat experience closeness differently, particularly through time together and physical intimacy? Where might differences in how people experience connection create misunderstanding in your relationships?
4. How did Lindy’s understanding of God’s love affect the way she approached Him? Where do you see similarities between the way she related to God and the way she related to Mat?
5. Throughout this chapter, Lindy discovers that her perspective is often incomplete. She thought she understood love, relationships, Darla, and even God—only to discover there was more to each than she could see. When have you believed you understood a person or situation, only to later discover there was more to the story than you could see? What helped you become willing to see it differently?
🥾Trail Challenge: Look Again
We all see the world through our own experiences, beliefs, and expectations. What feels obvious or true to us may not be true for someone else. Sometimes we assume that because something would make us feel loved, hurt, appreciated, or rejected, it must make someone else feel the same way.
Learning to love more fully requires us to recognize that our perspective is limited. We don't have to assume that our first interpretation is wrong—we simply need to be willing to consider that there may be more to the story than what we can see.
This week, notice the moments when you feel offended, frustrated, disappointed, or confused by someone else's words or actions. Before deciding what their behavior means, look again.
Ask yourself:
What do I actually know?
What am I assuming?
Am I seeing this through my own experiences or expectations?
Could this mean something different to them than it would to me?
What might I be missing?
You don't have to convince yourself that another perspective is right. The goal is simply to become willing to see that your perspective may not be the whole picture.
Suggestions for deeper relationships:
When something matters to you, it's easy to assume that other people experience it the same way. Instead of expecting them to think, feel, or need what you would, become curious.
Ask questions like:
“How did you experience that?”
“What did you mean when you said that?"
“What makes you feel loved?”
“Help me understand how you're seeing this.”
Sometimes the greatest source of connection isn't getting someone to see things your way. It's becoming willing to see things their way.
Make the decision to love by choosing to look again—especially when your first reaction is to judge, assume, or take offense. Be willing to discover what you may not yet see.
You Don't Have to Walk This Path Alone
If you'd enjoy discussing these ideas, asking questions, and learning from others who are also seeking to choose love, I'd love to have you join our Decision to Love Community.
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